I hate it....

Tonight I hate Down Syndrome!!!
I hate that my child is uncomfortable and can't tell me what is going on.
I hate that it affects his speech and he doesn't have the ability to tell me things.
I hate it!!

I'm hoping that he is finally asleep. He has got out of bed no less than 10 times and just can't seem to get comfortable. He keeps kissing his leg so that makes me wonder if he is hurting. He won't answer when we ask him and that makes me mad. Not at him but at the down syndrome for causing him to have speech issues that keep him from telling us what is going on.

I want to know why? Why would any person have to have a disease that makes their life difficult. Why can't he have the ability to tell his meme what is wrong. Yes, I know I shouldn't question these things and all that other stuff but just for tonight I wanna know why!

This roller coaster is not so fun...

The bad
~Blood pressure "Creeping up" 143/79
~Protein in urine
~Baby measuring BIG as in 6weeks big
~May be looking at a early induction

The good
Lost two pounds, now only a 5 pound weight gain for this pregnancy
Get to have an ultrasound next Thursday to see exactly how big this little guy is
Hubby is taking off to go with me to the ultrasound
Kollyn's heart rate a great 144bpm!!

Menu Monday

I'm trying my best to make up menus for the week. With Regan starting school next week I'm going to try to have dinner plans made so that we can play and work when he gets home and I'm not worrying about what to cook.

Monday~ Tater tot casserole & Salad

Tuesday~ Taco salad

Wednesday~ Red beans and Rice

Thursday~ Crock pot Italian chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes and garlic bread

Friday~ Pork chops, souped up rice, broccoli and cheese

Breakfast is the same as usual for us Waffles, fruit, cereal, muffins, toast, cinnamon rolls or something else easy. I've been wanting a breakfast pizza so if Ricky is off Saturday we may have it.

Lunch at our house is pretty simple~ Ramen noodles, sandwich, chicken nuggets, salad, chicken ranch wrap,or grilled cheese.

We are going to enjoy our last week together just he and I. I go to the doctor Wednesday and Regan goes Thursday. I can't believe Summer break is over and it's time to get started again with therapy and school lessons!!!

28 weeks!!

Hello 3rd Trimester!! I can't believe it is finally here. So here's my check in.

How far along: 28 weeks,1day or 29 weeks, 1 day~ Kollyn is measuring a week ahead!!
Total weight gain/loss: 7 pounds!! I'm so thankful that he is growing just fine and I'm not gaining the weight back that I had lost from October to December
Maternity clothes? mostly. I'm wearing lots of dresses and they aren't maternity
Stretch marks? Not any new ones only the ones from Regan.
Sleep: about 4 to 5 hours a night maybe! I am begging Regan for a nap by lunch time
Best moment this week: Well actually still on a high from learning that I passed the 3 hour glucose test!!
Movement: YES! This little boy is active! I mean constant until someone wants to feel him then he stops. He gets really excited when he hears Ricky.
Food cravings: nothing really
Food aversions: none
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: lots of braxton hicks, actually got a little nervous this morning because they were so strong.
Belly Button in or out? In I have a pretty deep one to start with
What I miss: sleep and sweet tea, although I have snuck in a few glasses this week
What I am looking forward to: I go back to the doctor on Wednesday
Weekly Wisdom: Nothing anyone have any good wisdom for me?
Milestones: 3rd Trimester is here!!!!

Here is the view when I look down.....
Here I am in front of the crib



...

You're such a R*t@rd!

You're such a retard! How often do you hear that phrase? How often do you say that phrase? Just take your average day.Some say it once a day and some lots more. It's a phrase that sometimes sets off the bells,whistles and flashing lights in my head other times just something that catches my attention like the words lemon pie.

Regan is the reason that hearing that phrase catches my ears. Yes, my child has mental retardation. My child has has a diagnosis that contains mentally retarded in the description. Ouch! Almost five years to deal with that one. Is it always a bad thing? No, not to us. Regan looks at the world like no other person I have ever met. He doesn't see race,sex,size, ability,disability or any other adjective, he sees people. People that he can wave to, smile at, tell them about football,cars, golf cart rides or motorcycle rides he wants to take. He is the kid that if the window is down in the car and he sees someone outside in their yard he yells HEY!! and waves like he has known them for all his short life. He doesn't let many people pass him in a store without speaking to them. He will hug a complete stranger and love on them like they were one of his family members. He wakes up with nothing but excitement for that day might be filled with McQueen, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, playing cars and chicken. Four of life's greatest pleasures to him. He doesn't and probably won't care how much money he has in the bank,what kind of car he is riding around in, what the stockmarket is doing that day or any other thing that we "typical" people care about. What a way to live! He looks for the good in all and sees it even when we don't take the time to glance at people. I sometimes wish I had the ability to see the good in people,to forgive quickly and love with no bounds.

So maybe we need to change the meaning of that phrase. Maybe it shouldn't be considered a bad thing but an adjective that we all strive to be. I used to get furious when someone said that around myself or Regan but now I'm to the place that it isn't such a bad thing. It reminds me to be thankful for all the accomplishments that Regan has achieved, it makes me remember 20 or so years ago when the doctors would recommend that kids like Regan be put away, that every day changes the perception of people and that my child will help change the way people think of "Retards". Maybe one day you will tell some one "You're such retard" and mean it to be that you are one of the most wonderful people on earth.