September 4, 2009

That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach

I don't even know where to start with this. I don't know this boy and girl at all but I think of them every morning and pray that they make it safely to and from school.

Every morning this one truck passes our house. Regan and I are on the porch or just walking down the driveway. I wait on him to pass because his driving scares me. The first week of school he came flying around a car on our little two lane road. He was so close that he hit the rocks in our driveway and rocks went everywhere. I said some rather unnice things about him and even called Ricky to tell him about it. I told Ricky that I was going to do something!! I never did.

In the afternoons he often got stuck behind Regan's bus. It takes awhile for Regan to get off the bus because he has to tell everyone bye. The boy and girl always smile and wave at Regan and I often wanted to stop and tell him to SLOW DOWN! He was going to get hurt. I never did. I showed Ricky the truck on days that Ricky was here and told him how worried I was about this boy and girl because I was once that girl in the truck. Letting the guy drive crazy and never thinking what could happen.

This morning I didn't see them. I wondered if I was early or if he was late. Then right after Regan's bus left the first response team came by, then another, then a state trooper, then another and then two ambulances and finally a wrecker. I knew something had happened to them. A few minutes later the life helicopter flew over. I called Ricky and told him something bad had happened. I keep sitting here waiting. I needed some stamps and so I headed toward the post office. When I came to the top of the hill there sat all the emergency vehicles. I couldn't see anything and had to turn around. Sitting here a few minutes ago the wrecker went by and there was that truck. The same one I have wanted to do something about and never did. The one that I have prayed would get those two kids to school. I have never seen a truck so messed up. I know it's bad and I feel responsible. I feel guilty, horrible,terrified.
I don't know anything about the status of these kids but I'm afraid it isn't good. I haven't been able to stop crying since I saw the truck. Why didn't I do something. What if I would have said something would it have made a difference to them? I'm afraid it wouldn't have no one could of told me anything different when I was their age. I thought nothing bad could ever happen to me and I know they did too. Please say a prayer for these kids and their families. It just breaks my heart that this could have been avoided.

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