June 1st

I've dreaded this day for 7months 1week and 3days. It is a day that will I will remember forever. Even when everyone I know has forgotten and they have, I will know that my sweet baby was due today. I've heard other mothers of lost babies say that they felt the loss even 25 years later. I know for sure I will. Today I feel the lump in my throat instead of the lump in my stomach as I think of what should of been.

After over two years of trying I was so excited to find out that all the charting,medicines, wanting, praying, crying had finally paid off. We were expecting!! 9 short weeks later this horrible day happened even in 9 weeks I fell in love with this sweet baby It's hard to describe loving someone you have never set eyes on but I did. I still love that baby, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of where in my pregnancy I would be. I still even with this baby know how many weeks and what would be happening if the baby was still growing inside me.
Today is a day that I remember that things can be taken away in a single moment. That even when we think we have our road all mapped out we aren't the driver, we are just passengers along for the ride.

I miss you my sweet ladybug.