January 7, 2009

Taking back my previous post.

I know I said that I was ending this blog but sometimes people just need a place to vent. This is mine. When no one gets me at least I can type it out.

Infertility stinks.... I am so tired of all the ups and downs of it. After I lost the baby we decided not to take any time off from trying. I did and still do have some issues to deal with from the loss but I really want to add to our family. So I insisted that we just keep trying. Six weeks after my d&c I started, Yippee!! That's typical!! I was so excited. Now 6 weeks later I'm still waiting for another period. I have taken 8 pregnancy test but they are all negative. I talked with the ob/gyn office and they said not to worry about it till i have missed a few periods. Which could be a year or so for me. I only have 3 a year usually. My body is really messed up after having Regan. June will be here before we know it and that will be three years of trying. UGH!! I'm so tired of all of this. Maybe we aren't supposed to have another baby? I just don't know.

We have talked about adoption and even started getting some paper work sent to us. Ricky is worried about how our family will take the idea of adoption. I really don't care what they think but this is something we have to be on the same page about so that is once again dropped.

I have been asked by so many people who know that we had a loss about when we will be adding to our family. I DON'T KNOW!! That's what I want to scream. I check my temps, CM, cervical position and use OPK's to see when and if I have ovulated. I take awful medicine that makes me sick, crabby and makes my blood sugars drop constantly all for nothing. I just feel like a failure all the time. It seem so unfair that people that abuse and mistreat their kids can have another at a drop of a hat and here we are struggling to have another.

Okay enough of my pity party for myself. Barney is almost off so it will be time to play again!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we deal with these issues.

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1 people actually cared enough to comment on this:

Kori said...

You shouldn't end your blog. I have been reading and I think you are more than interesting. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time getting pregnant. I never know what to say in these types of situations. So I just want to let you know that I will be praying for you and yours.